The Hidden Cost of Caregiving: Chronic Stress and Burnout in Parents of Children With Disabilities

If you’re parenting a child with disabilities or complex needs, you may be carrying an invisible weight that few people see. Maybe you’ve felt scattered, emotionally drained, or constantly on edge. These aren’t character flaws. They’re signs of chronic caregiver stress, a real crisis that thousands of parents live with silently.

As a parent and mental health coach, I’ve lived it.
As a researcher, I’ve studied it.
The evidence is clear:

Parents of children with disabilities experience significantly higher rates of chronic stress, which affects their health, relationships, and sense of identity.

What Is Parental Burnout?

Parental burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by long-term caregiving demands that exceed available support and resources.

It’s more than stress. It’s depletion at the core of your being.

According to Roskam et al. (2018), burnout in parents is characterized by:

• Physical and emotional exhaustion

• Emotional detachment from one’s children

• Frustration with the parenting role

• Disconnection from one’s former self

Mikolajczak et al. (2018) found that it can lead to:

• Neglect or harsh behavior toward children

• Sleep and health problems

• Addiction or escapism

• Couple conflict and even suicidal ideation

The Cumulative Impact of Caregiving

As parents of children with disabilities, we are often on call 24/7 balancing:

• Complicated medical and educational systems

• Advocacy at every level

• Constant emotional labor

• Little to no time for rest or recovery

It can feel like living on a hamster wheel; juggling multiple plates while holding your breath.

And when you never pause to exhale, burnout becomes inevitable.

Chronic Stress Is More Than Emotional

This isn’t just “being tired.”

Chronic stress activates the brain’s survival center, the amygdala, flooding your system with cortisol (Ratey & Hagerman, 2008). Over time, this hormonal flood disrupts your ability to regulate emotions, think clearly, or physically recover.

Long-term effects include:

• Memory loss

• Disrupted sleep

• Insulin resistance

• Suppressed immune function

• Heightened risk of heart disease and depression (Babcock, 2014)

This is biology not weakness.

Why Most Parent Support Falls Short

Too many programs focus solely on the child, offering therapy, behavior plans and educational tools while ignoring the mental, emotional and physical toll on parents.

“Parents need access to support systems that acknowledge their unique stress and equip them with strategies to manage it proactively.”
— Cheng & Lai, 2023, p. 10

That’s why I created The Parent Forge, to center the parent, not just the child.

Through coaching, research-based tools, and community healing spaces, we help caregivers not just cope but rebuild their CORE strength.

You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

If any of this resonates with you, take it as your sign to pause.

You are not broken.
You are not alone.
And you don’t have to keep pushing without support.

Start small:

• Name your stress.

• Notice how it’s showing up in your mind, body and relationships.

• Make space to be seen even for just one hour.

Join the Parent Forge Free Listening Circle

This is a weekly online gathering for parents navigating the journey of caregiving, raising children with disabilities and carrying more than most can see. There’s no pressure to share. No need to prepare. Just space to breathe and be.

Come exhale. Come rest. Come remember that you are not alone.

You deserve support not because you’re struggling, but because you’ve been strong for too long.

References

• Babcock, E. D. (2014). Using brain science to design new pathways out of poverty. Crittenton Women’s Union.

• Cheng, A. W. Y., & Lai, C. Y. Y. (2023). Parental stress in families of children with special educational needs: A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 14, 1198302. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2023.1198302

• Mikolajczak, M., Gross, J. J., & Roskam, I. (2018). Parental burnout: What is it, and why does it matter? Clinical Psychological Science, 6(1), 34–52.

• Ratey, J. J., & Hagerman, E. (2008). Spark: The revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain. Little, Brown.

• Roskam, I., Raes, M. E., & Mikolajczak, M. (2018). Exhausted parents: Development and preliminary validation of the Parental Burnout Inventory. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 1021.

• Smith, L. E., et al. (2010). Daily experiences among mothers of adolescents and adults with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(2), 167–178.

Keywords:

parental burnout, caregiver stress, mental health for parents, raising children with disabilities, support for overwhelmed parents, chronic stress in caregiving